Saturday, December 24, 2011

The Fright Before Christmas



On the day before Christmas,

In Amity Park,

Almost all there were cheery,

But one soul was dark.

"Hey, that voice. It's that ghost!

Whose book I destroyed.

Wait, I'm trapped in this poem?

Now I'm really annoyed!"…

Danny Fenton hates Christmas,

He hates it a lot.

Which is why I've inserted

The boy in this plot.

He'll go through this tale

Till the story has ended.

"But you can't make me rhyme!"

"Hope your new year is splendid!"

You will be quite surprised

What I can and can't do.

But I'll leave you your freedom

So I can teach you.

When you lash out at others,

There's enmity earned.

You're stuck in this poem

Till your lesson is learned.

"Who you talkin' to, Danny?"

Said Tucker, confused.

"Some annoying Ghost Writer.

We're all being used!

"I blew up his story,"

No hint of remorse,

"Now he's writing a new one,

We're trapped in by force!"

But Tucker and Sam

Merely shrugged in confusion,

Completely convinced

Of my ghostly illusion.

"Has he always been moody

And glum in December?"

"A big, whiny Scrooge,

Long as I can remember.

"His very first Christmas,

When he was a baby,

A bad first impression.

No: if, but, or maybe.

"His parents debated

On Santa's existence.

Forgetting their son

Might have need of assistance.

"Caught up in their riff

On that jolly old fellow,

They didn't see Danny's white

Christmas turn yellow.

"And the one four years later,

Was clearly no winner.

Still arguing Santa.

They spoiled Christmas dinner.

"By spoiled, I should say,

Brought the turkey to life.

Swearing blood and revenge

With a fork and a knife."

"I've said it before,

And I'll say it again,

A sled cannot travel

The globe at Mach ten!"

But Jack Fenton bellowed,

"You're wrong, wrong, you hear!"

And never once thought

He'd be spooking the deer.

And just because this

Would annoy him the most,

I decided to make every

Reindeer a ghost!

On Spooky! On Specter!

On Deathlorp! On Thrasher!

On Maimer! On Vicious!

Blood Antlers! And Slasher!

"I'm goin' ghost!"

Came his signature cry.

And into the fray,

Danny Phantom did fly.

Confronting the reindeer

With powers quite ghostly,

Protecting the last-minute shoppers…

Well, mostly.

Then the reindeer escaped,

Having torn up the mall.

Leaving Danny, yes, Danny,

The blame for it all.

But Danny's grim yuletide

Was only beginning.

And later that night,

As his patience was thinning,

"See? A fat man CAN fit down the chimney!

Here's proof!"

"That still won't explain

How he gets on the roof!"

And young Fenton sat there,

Just steaming and fuming.

His blood pressure rising,

His anger consuming.

"I won't keep this up!"

Danny said to the writer.

"There's no poem if I'm silent."

"Can't you make dad not fight her?"

You think this is over?

It's barely begun!

This all doesn't end

Until the lesson is done.

"And you think that I'll learn it?

You think you're that tough?"

"He exists!" "No he doesn't!"

Then Dan screamed, "ENOUGH!

"I'm sick of your fighting!

Can you please let this die?

You've ruined each Christmas,

Each Christmas, and I

"Can't take any more of this war,

Am I clear?

Fourteen years is enough!

I am SO out of here!"

"Huh, what got into him?"

"He takes after his mother."

"Can't blame you for losing your cool,

Little brother.

"Go ahead, clear your head,

And I think you'll be fine…

But taking our presents

Is crossing the line!"

"Now you're ripping off gifts?

What's that supposed to do?"

A: Make a huge scene,

And B: Blame it on you!

"You've ruined our night!"

"Drink some anti-ghost tonic!"

"Wait, I've ruined THEIR night?

How's that for ironic?"

So Danny did soar

Through the crisp evening— "Look!

What's a guy gotta do

To get outta this book?"

And then Danny thought,

"Wait, my problem is clear,

The poem's about Christmas,

Which is here, here, and here.

"This curse will stay on me

From my town to Rome,

But he can't Christmas me

In a non-Christmas home.

"SAM!" Danny said.

"Oh, for cryin' out loud."

"I know! Can't you see

We're all under a cloud?

"Every present we had,

In the chimney, up through it.

That might work for you,

But that's not how WE do it."

And Sam saw sad faces

On Mom, Dad, and Granny.

So I typed on my keyboard

That the blame was on Danny.

"You! You did this?"

"Are you out of your mind?"

"You're the holiday Scrooge,

Do you think that I'm blind?"

And Danny and Sam

Found themselves in a spat.

But before Dan could calm her,

I soon realized that

A new threat was needed

To cut through the noise.

And what better way

Than attack of the toys?

From all over town,

The toys started to merge.

I'm really quite wicked

When I get the urge.

On this night before Christmas,

A brand-new attacker.

And now, face the wrath

Of my monster nut-cracker!

"Aw, nuts!" Danny cried

As he started to run.

Must we end every scene

With a terrible pun?...

"You think this can stop me?

This bear or this train?

I'll just fire away

Till no pieces remain.

"Nothing to add?"

Danny asked, then the answer

Showed up in the form of

Sam, Tucker, and Lancer.

And Jazz, standing silent,

Her eyes filled with tears.

Mourning the bear

She had loved all these years.

And Tucker and Sam felt that

Crushing blow too…

"Danny, don't." "What's your deal?"

"I don't even know you!"

It seemed the whole town had

Come out to proclaim

That Christmas was ruined!

The Ghost Boy to blame.

Save for one little boy,

In his little red hat.

He thought Danny was cool,

So we'll have to fix that…

"The siren is wailing,

The ghost trees attacking.

Lock up your homes,

I suggest you start packing!"

"Christmas is ruined!

And you're not the cause."

"I sure hope the ghost shield

Won't stop Santa Claus."

"It's Treewatch, day one,

Hope there isn't day two.

Let's go to Lance Thunder,

Our weatherman, who,"

"Can't believe I quit acting

To work in this place.

There's chaos here, Bill.

NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FACE!"

"Anybody seen Danny?"

"Like I even care."

"What's wrong with you Jasmine?

Your brother's out there!

"Hold down the fort, Jack,

I'll go after our tot.

Those trees will not stop me!"

"Oh, man! That is hot!"

While his mother moved forth,

Danny faced my attack.

"Danny! Danny! Where are you?"

But he couldn't shout back.

Every attack that he tried,

He'd be destined to fail.

"If you hear me, just scream,"

"Yeah! my Ghostly Wail!"…

"Danny! Thank Heavens!

You had us all worried!

Your dad saw the news,

We stopped squabbling and hurried.

"It's Christmas Eve, son.

Home is where you should be.

Let's get back to the house,

And I'll make you some tea."

The Ghost Shield deployed,

Danny turned to this thought,

To take on the spirit,

He knew who had wrought

This holiday mischief,

And left him the blame.

Come on now, dear boy,

That's where you call me lame.

"Give it up! You can't hide!

I know just where to find you!"

But I'm still in control,

Allow THEM to remind you.

"Them?" Danny asked,

Then he shuddered and trembled.

The door brought him where

All his foes were assembled.

"We've been waiting for you,"

Skulker said with a grin.

"Now our holiday party

Can finally begin!"

"Eat, drink, and be merry."

"Have some warm Christmas goose."

"For surely you know

Of our annual truce."

The truce? It's still holding?

I thought they'd suspend it

To beat on their foe.

"No, this truce, we defend it.

"We don't fight on Christmas."

"One day of tranquility."

"Come sundown tomorrow,

We resume all hostility!"

"Every ghost holds this truce?"

"It's a fact." "It's a rule."

"Well the Ghost Writer broke it."

"That is really uncool."

"I'm trapped in his story,

The guy's off his nut!"

"He ought to know better."

"Let's go kick his butt!"

Uh oh. The ghost changed their—

Crud! I have GOT to type faster!

"It's over, you hack!"

I don't think so, young master.

The truce they enjoyed,

It was fun while it lasted.

Then Young Blood got pummeled.

Then Ember got blasted!

They battled each other

With all weapons handy.

Afraid of the tenant,

My half-brother Randy?

A block and a candlestick,

Those I won't miss!

I wonder what else…

"I know! How 'bout this?"

Young Danny thought quickly

and picked up an orange.

He threw it at Walker, who…

Aw crud! Nothing rhymes with orange!

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Once these fry, I'm guessing

This lame poem is… through?

"NO!" Danny screamed.

"I'm still talking in rhyme!"

I would have forewarned you

If given the time.

There are two ways to finish

The poem, just two.

I type out the end,

But I can't, thanks to you.

So now YOU'LL guide the story

Of the ghost who hates Christmas.

Think you can do it?

All mopey and listless?

You think this ends here?

You're about to get burned!

This story's not done

Till the lesson is learned!...

With the keyboard all busted,

The curse takes its toll.

The story continues,

But I've no control…

"Dude, like, it's Christmas,

So why are you here?"

"Outside, with no

Friends or family near?"

"It's my fault, all my fault,

What happened tonight.

I spoke out in anger

And acted in spite.

"I started this all when I picked

The first fight.

But I'd give all I had

To set everything right."…

"The gifts? They're not damaged?"

"They're flying through the air."

"Back where they came from?

But who would—" "Beware!"

"The Box Ghost shall conquer

This holiday doom."

"We just couldn't leave you

To suffer in gloom."

"Tomorrow you'll see

What this baby can do.

But all ghosts share the truce,

Even half ghosts, like you."…

"I just saw it happen,

But still can't believe

Your enemies helped you

Repair Christmas Eve."

"It's all back to normal,

But your house, my dear,"

"Your ghost shield prevents us."

"I'll take it from here."

"Ghost!" "No, It's Santa!"

They're both sort of right.

"I know I've been

Kind of a jerk this whole night.

"So I snuck out and found this.

It's all of your favorites.

And here, mom, for you,"

"Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm –avorites!"

"And Jazz," "Hey! It's Bearbert!

He's safe and he's sound!

Gee, thanks, little brother,

I knew you'd come 'round."

"Aw, Danny, you're smiling,

That matters the most.

We're all here together,

Not fighting some—" "Ghost!"

"Jack, no! Put the gun down,

That's Santa you're shooting!"

"Are you mad? That's the ghost

Who all evening was looting

"Our Christmas from us!"

"Then it wasn't the Ghost boy?

Let's tear HIM apart!"

"Now you're talkin', you're toast, boy!"

And that's when I thought

Maybe this is the moral:

In the same way my folks

Loved their old Christmas quarrel,

Everyone celebrates

In the way of their choosing.

I was so busy whining

I started abusing

The ones I loved most,

And I ruined their cheer.

I'll try to be better,

Come Christmas next year.

THE END

Merry Christmas all!!

I love christmas and Danny Phantom so why not mix them eh?

I hope you all have had a wonderful christmas eve and enjoy your tomoor :D

Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Friday, December 23, 2011

music racing skills

I love video games, but...
There's a reason i don't play drums and or sing... haha Rock Band. (granted its not real but if i cant even do a watered down version man i must suck...)
I'm decent at racing until i give up. which sometimes happens. (Mario Kart's bomb. Though i do love a game of NFS sometimes.)
But if i feel like kicking trash i generally can. But only with some help
from........


This GUY^

Kirby!!!! He's so cute no?? Who doesn't love a game of brawl?

i had a good day. A really good one i think. Twas fun :D
I have the bestest friend in the whole world :D
even the getting fat off of redvines was good haha
I LOVE MY FRIENDS!! TANKS FRIENDS!!!

Friday, December 16, 2011

So my FAVORITE band was in Salt Lake last night.
it was a FREE concert. and I WASN'T in attendance.
I wanted to go but decided it would be good if i didn't.
I am sad though. I LOVE ANBERLIN.

So let me get this straight
You say now you loved me all along
What made you hesitate
To tell me with words what you really feel
I can see it in your eyes you mean all of what you say
I remember so long ago, see I felt that same way
Now we both have separate lives and lovers (and lovers)
Insignificantly enough we both have significant others

Only time will tell
Time will turn and tell

Chorus:
We are who we were when
Could've been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who
We are who we were when
Who knew what we know now
Could've been more but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who
We are who we were when

But thoughts they change and times they rearrange I don't know who you are anymore
Loves come and go and this I know I'm not who you recall anymore
But I must confess you're so much more then I remember
Can't help but entertain these thoughts
Thoughts of us together

Chorus:

My day late friend

So let me get this straight
All these years and you were nowhere to be found
And now you want me for your own
But you're a day late and my love, she's still renowned

that's a day late by Anberlin. my apologies if I've posted it before.

Since I couldn't go to their concert I'm listening to them. Oh how I wanted to go.
Even when I don't want to I think of you.
It's like second nature.
Probably cause I did it so much before.
It's really hard to stop.
Even if I want.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Art Of Napping

I've been told that I look very peaceful when I'm asleep... Opposed to when I'm awake...
You know I don't really know how to take that... haha I guess it makes sense cause I don't have any worries I guess. Anyway..... I LOVE NAPPING!

Today I had a three hour nap. Its a beautiful thing this napping. Sometimes I dream when I nap. Very rarely though. It would appear that I nap almost whenever possible, for me.

Napping is indeed an art. Some people legitimately can't nap, this is a sad and strange concept for me. I honestly don't know what I would do without napping.

Some of the best naps include but are not limited to...

The asphalt
The sidewalk (believe it or not those two are more comfy than they sound)
Front yard on a sunny day falling asleep reading a book
Backyard - same story
Bed
Couch
Living room floor
Family room floor
Mom's bed
Dining room floor
Friends couches
Friends bean bag (while hanging out and or watching a movie)
;) Boys arms (while hanging out AND watching a movie)
Recliner
Library chair
BAND NAPS (also reffered to as brain-washing)
Back seat in a car
Front seat in a car
On a bus
practice room
etc.

I've napped some strange places. But I indeed love napping its rather relaxing. I also enjoy meditation, which sometimes can be considered a nap. I mean thats basically all a band nap is :D... and surprisingly the band room floor is mighty comfortable. :D

I love napping.

I also decided that flossing is a beautiful thing. I once thought it tedious but needed to be done... now I enjoy it. Sorry random thought... DON'T JUDGE :D

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Random thoughts on a random subject of random kisses :D

"Life, the gift of nature. Love, the gift of life. A kiss, the gift of love"

Cute. So lots of different kinds of kisses I suppose.

You know...

Spiderman kiss (:D I love spiderman...)
Butterfly kiss
eskimo kiss
Kiss on the Cheek
Air kiss (blowing someone a kiss)
Angel Kiss
A peck
french (hahahaha apparently they call it american kissing O.o)
ECT...

Despite there being an assortment of different kinds of kisses they all show affection in one way or another. In my opinion the best kind is the kind that simply makes you forget anything else exists. Like there is you and them and nothing else matters. Its perfect... To my knowledge... well i can remember this kiss as a good bye kiss primarily is what comes to mind. But that is not what is on my mind currently... Not that kissing's on the brain. (Purhaps i was given the subject to write about {or purhaps i'm trying to make you think that}) Its the moment where you feel so in love that any kiss you give is special and you can tell that you truly do love a person. You can fall in love a number of times. But only once will it be forever. A kiss can strengthen a relationship and can show affection. Everyone can confess their love, but not everyone can prove it. Making time stop and everything disappear with a simple kiss is well... splendid, unexpected, and very hard to explain. Twice... if you were wondering.
If I HAD to explain the sensation... I'd say its like getting a high on say soda or simply life, where you get really happy and hyper and then you crash from all that happy giddiness. Its like opening a bottle of and unleashing that bubley foam that gets on everyone and everything. (i've seen that in movies... the wine thing) Its like knowing you don't have any homework to turn in the next day and having free time. But mostly the first. GIDDY. thats what you are, when its truely meaningful.
Its as if you put your whole heart and soul into it. That would be that kiss. A kiss of pure bliss and love. With it, you give part of yourself away, and no matter what happens with that relationship, they will forever be etched into your heart. Forever.

Sensational. a goodbye. and a hello.

Solve: 9x-7i>3(3x-7u) (i just noticed if you rearrange the letters in solve you can get loves...)

Monday, October 24, 2011

Life Universe and Everything?

42

if only it were that simple...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Do i Believe in Love at First Sight?

No.

In all cases of me "being in love" its been a process. The closest thing I can recall to the so-called "love at first sight" is with one of my current best friends. It wasn't exactly love at first sight in the way that I saw him and was like YES I LOVE HIM. But it was more "love at first sight" because as soon as I gave myself the opportunity to know him as more as that kid that I know, I found myself loving him.
In my personal opinion there is two ways to actually love somebody. There is the Romantic Love and the Friendly love. Now in this case the first feeling I had was of the romantic category, finding myself "in love" (quotes for I do not know exactly what love is yet) was easy because I felt as if I had known him for forever and could simply just talk to him about anything and everything. If you've known someone like that they are truly special. I didn't know him long before I knew I felt something more for him than a mere friendship could contain. But I kept it in for fear he didn't feel the same.
Although I say that this was a type of love at first sight, i still do not believe in the term. How can one simply know? The more I get to know the victim of this so called "love" the more i "love" who he is, and how he acts. I will say that now for him i feel the feelings of Friendly love stemmed from that once romantic love that I had for them.

I will never be able to forget my "love at first sight"... Or how happy he made me...

But there was a time and a place.
And here I am.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

WHO SAID ANIME BOYS CANT BE HOTT? TAKE IT BACK RIGHT NOW!!!



Darien aka Tuxedo Mask-
addmittedly my first anime crush. I will forever be faithful to his delectable blue eyes cocky attitude and yummy hair. :D he's from sailor moon. Supposedly around 20 dates a girl about 14 SPOILER ALERT! if you haven't seen sailor moon sorry... He is really this girls husband in a future time... So jealous... Anyway Love him. HE IS FINE!!!


Yugi-
my second anime crush. Who doesn't love red blone and black hair? (not to mention those are my three favorite colors... red black and blonde) its been forever since i've watched Yu-gi-oh... but I totally crushed on him none the less! OH YEAH!


Ash Ketchum-
another of my small anime crushes. Not so much as the others... But He will forever be dear in my heart. I remember starting his journey with him. sitting on my living room floor watching THE FIRST POKÉMON EPISODE EVER! I must be getting old. This crush went away over time unlike my love for tuxedo mask. But I love Ash and if i am allowed to say 'Charzards are red squirtles are blue, If you were a Pokémon I'd choose you!' Hehehe YES!!



Toshiro Hitsugaya
or as he prefers Captain Hitsugaya (could be spelling this wrong) DELICIOUS! Can i say hair, attitude. EYES! TURQOISE EYES! He's from bleach and he's Captain over the 10th court gaurd squad and i love him... Fell for his eyes... Too bad HE'S 12!! Broke my heart to find that out! He's totally bada.. LOVE HIM! :D O.o SPOILER ALERT His bankai is an ice dragon! Spicy! Did i mention he's the youngest captain with sweet soccer skills?! 10X more attractive (to further understand watch bleach episode 132)


Ichigo Kurosaki-
Substitute soul reaper. Oh yeah Captain Hitsugaya is a soul reaper... YUMMY! So Ichigo is amazing. I find his will power and strength incredibly alluring. He is always so concerned with everyone elses well being that he ends up dying a lot. Well... You'd have to watch to understand. I love his hair.. it looks so soft and playfulable... (not a word) anyway even though he's not at first apealing I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIS PERSONALITY! Oh and he really is a babe. Just not as much as he could be :D

YAY BOYS! hehehe... and maybe just maybe there might be a boy i'm taking a liking to :D hee


SHOOL. (pronounced as if Megamind was saying it)

Shool is a place. It is also a thing, a tool, etc... I think it could even possibly be a scam! Ha no I'm toying. So far shool is decent.
I enjoy most of my classes. even though i frequently have panic attacks over some of them... *Cough* AP Spanish *Cough* And i'm even half native mexican. Obviously that means one thing; NOTHING!
I think so far my two favorite classes are Interior Design and Weight training. Ha if you think I'm a babe now... Oh BOY just you wait ;) "I'm only joking, I am Fred"... ha, OH YEAH!
Speaking about shool... Ha I so do not feel like a senior (and to be quite honest... i didn't even order a cap and gown...) I miss all my old senior buddies. I don't like to be the oldest in the school. I don't really have many people to look up to anymore...
This morning when i walked in to my english class room it smelled like Coffee and totally made me happy. It was the esence of perfection. Books and the Smell of coffee just go hand in hand. (Which reminds me that the borders near my house is apparently closing! How depressing is that?! Where am i supposed to run to now and be asked if i work there while reading a book sitting in a little kid chair in Grubbies?!) And we read a poem YES! Then I did a dance in the hall cause I found out that I had a spanish sup *Jummping up and Down in excitement again* Lets just say Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull... SHIA LEBEOUF... WOO WEE! When he comes into that movie is he spicy or what! Its definitely the bike (and the way they dress him up... mmm... yes please?!)


ANYWAY...
Yesh shool is a place for socializing not a place to learn. O.o people watching is fun to. :D

YAY! SHOOL! or not so yay :D

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Naive Orleans-Anberlin


Come and go now as you please
Your actions write the melodies
To the songs that we sing
And you just sing

And I finally found that life goes on without you
And my world still turns when you're not around

Is this the way you want it?
Is this the way it has to be?
Sitting here beside you
With my heart's lost in New Orleans
Dreams come clever
Hearts now severed
Difference of forever
And I am lost there

Well I finally found that life goes on without you
And my world still turns when you're not around
And I finally found that life goes on without you
And my world still turns when you're not around
And I finally find that all..

Your actions write the melodies
To the songs that we sing
Your actions write the melodies
To the songs that we sing
And you just sing along out loud, yeah

Come and go now as you please
Your actions write the melodies
To the songs that we sing
And you just sing

Well I finally found that life goes on without you
And my world still turns when you're not around
And I finally found that life goes on without you
And my world still turns when you're not around
And I finally find that all..

Your actions write the melodies
To the songs that we sing
Your actions write the melodies
To the songs that we sing
And you just sing along out.. loud!
Promises are sometimes lies. Quite depressing fact. Oh well...

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

purhaps what love looks like...

a heart.

PLAY THING

A heart is not a play thing

A heart is not a toy

But if you want it broken

Just give it to a boy.

Boys like to play with things

To see what makes them run

But when it comes to kissing

They do it just for fun

Boys never give their hearts away

They play us for a fool

But when we give our hearts to them

They try and play it cool

You'll wonder where he is at night

You'll wonder if he is true

One day you'll be happy

And the next day you'll be blue

Then it starts to happen

You'll worry day and night

You see my friend you're losing him

It never turns out right

Love is fine but hurts so much

The price you pay is high

If you could choose between life and death

I think I'd rather die

So when I say don't fall in love

You'll hurt before its through

You see my friend I ought to know

I fell in love with you

My heart is yours forever love

I hope you'll understand

But I thought when I gave you my heart

I gave it to a MAN.


Once I found this poem while cleaning my room and it made me cry...

I think every time i read it I tear up a bit.

Because thinking someone loves you enough to never hurt you...

is Simply Wonderful.

But there comes a time where you will hurt...

And hopefully you won't.

But don't fall so hard unless your sure he's the Man that WILL give you

Your very own Happily Ever After... dont be fooled into loving without holding back too soon.

Friday, July 22, 2011

curse this thing they call a heart. It seems to remember better than my brain... this is quite frustrating...

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Awkward life chart.



My dear friend "Tom" inspired me to make one for myself. mines definitely different. haha I love her! Her my awkward life chart is very colorful.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Don't Stop

Once upon a time i was driving in my car and this song came on the radio. Don't stop by Fleetwood mac. Now i've heard this song before but today it was particularly striking because I just really seem to need its message. I think i really like this song now. Don't you just love driving?

If you wake up and don't want to smile,
If it takes just a little while,
Open your eyes and look at the day,
You'll see things in a different way.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

Why not think about times to come,
And not about the things that you've done,
If your life was bad to you,
Just think what tomorrow will do.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

All I want is to see you smile,
If it takes just a little while,
I know you don't believe that it's true,
I never meant any harm to you.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

Don't you look back,
Don't you look back.

Tomorrow is a new day and yesterday's gone. BRILLIANT. What will tomorrow bring, what will end up on your canvas?

Monday, June 13, 2011

a word i am rather fond of that one day i stumbled upon.

Lakbla: it means nothing and everything at the same time. it can be a happy word or a sad word or a substitute curse word. Its meaning is only known to the user at the time of use and is rarely to never used in the same manner.

A word to express any emotion and to say something you wnat to without saying it.

This word can not be found in the dictionary but is good for any occasion.

its a word for friends and a word for foes. It can be like a hug or like biting your thumb at another.

It is a word with out a definition yet is defined...

Its simply. LAKBLA!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

another poem

okay so The Open... Yeah not the poem I really wanted to post so... I feel like I have to post the one I originally wanted to put up... I think it is my favorite one I've written...

One tree

One solitary tree stands in isolation

On a simple hill

Its withered and worn branches

Are fighting to keep their will

It has no friends who stay with it,

And last the whole year's seasons.

Its only visits are oft from birds,

Who forget him with no reasons?

As days go on it watches the sunsets

Wishing to start anew.

Everyday watching the rising and setting

Wanting it to be him up there in the blue.

It longs for it, it yearns for it,

But it shall never come.

This poor old tree in a dying state

Is starting to be numb.

Though dying it still wants to

Start once more,

To be one small, learning to live,

And striving for life's open door.

And though it struggles with

Its last and dying breath

Wanting to live but slowly easing into death,

It still stands with pride

For he knows now dying is the

End of life's winding ride.

blabber...

Have you ever got into one of those weird moods where you just want to come clean about everything and tell people the truth and what not. and then to make you feel better you simply pretend like you are gonna tell them so you either type and email or something that you want to send then plan on deleteing? Or have you ever done that and then instead of hitting delete you accidentally hit send. Yeah worst thing ever! So in other words don't pretend to tell people stuff you don't really want to tell them because it will not turn out okay.
Well it might but you'll feel like an idiot. Of course i don't have expirence with this at all...

Anyway... I decided that I wish I had something profound and deep to ever say on this blog. But even when i think i found something deep to talk about in never runs smoothly... this happens to me often... Can you tell?

Here read a poem...

The Open

By: Kristen Santa Maria

You’re sitting there so oblivious of the way I feel

My mind is set on one question,

Is this passion real?

You’re hiding the emotion that I cannot see,

I want them to come out and set this feeling free.

They hold the key for the farthest reaches of my mind

So far I don’t know if I want you to find.

It’s odd to think I pour out all my soul,

I rant about my little life like you care in full.

I cannot speak untruthfully cause the way you act,

And though I try to keep it in I know it will all fall out,

It’s sad you see but only truthful fact.

You may not know the torture that I feel inside,

Its out so fast I simply cannot hide.

Why can’t I keep my mouth all shut and keep the secrets in?

My heart and mind always seem to battle but when it comes to an end my heart will always win.

And so its out but you don’t know

And so I’m left with woe.

What’s done is done

What’s said is said,

And with that it comes to an end.


I wrote that in 8th grade... wow long time ago...

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Everything i do -Bryan Adams

Look into my eyes, you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart, search your soul
And when you find me there, you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do, I do it for you

Look into your heart, you will find
There's nothing there to hide
Take me as I am, take my life
I would give it all, I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for
I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more
You know it's true
Everything I do, I do it for you, oooh yeah

There's no love like your love
And no other could give more love
There's nowhere unless you're there
All the time, all the way, yeah

Look into your heart, baby
Hey
Oh yeah

Oh, you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more
Yeah, I would fight for you, I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you, yeah, I'd die for you

You know it's true
Everything I do
Oooh, I do it for you

Everything I do, darling
I will see you through
I will see you through
Oh yeah
YEAH!

Got your heart
You can't tell me it ain't worth dyin' for
Oh yeah
I'll be there

I'd walk the wire
I'd die for you

Oooh yeah
One more time
I'm goin' all the way, all the way, yeah
I'll be there

Oooh yeah
Oh


there was a time when i watched Robin Hood Prince of Theives with a close friend... reflecting back on that day i can remember it as if it were yesterday (then again... i usually have dificulties remembering yesterdays...) but i remember it very well. Happiness is one emotion i remember, utmost giddiness... I remember warmth too. Enjoyment was definitely there. anyway this song plays at the end of it and it makes me happy... and Its so true in my life. I feel lonely sometimes and lost, but i'm always fighting for something. Mostly love. and it is true everything i do i do it for you... er yeah...

Monday, May 16, 2011

Lo\/e

Lo\/e.Is.weird.
Lo\/e.is.blind.
Lo\/e.hurts.
and.lo\/e.heals.
LO\/E.is.e\/erything.my.heart.feels...

I.am.in.lo\/e.im.sorry.but.i.am...

there.is.something.about.the.nonekistant.spring.in.Utah.
it.made.my.lo\/e.stronger.i.think...

dont.mind.the.weirdness...my.keyboard.is.broken...

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Rain.

There is so many memories for me associated with rain...

But my favorite involves Mario Kart, and such.
I love love love the rain. It is gorgeous and smells good. I remember laughing in it. I remember dancing in it. Being chased in it. "Fighting" in it. Kissing in it. Smiling in it. Feeling so so happy.

"In the middle of September we'd still play out in the rain. Reflecting now on how things could have been it was worth it in the end."
-Daughtry

I love You!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy- Saving Jane

Filling up my empty days with red wine
Wonder what you think of me?
Lying in the grass alone and wasted
Nothing's how it used to be

I wanna be the first to call and tell you
Yesterday I heard the news
I hear you oughtta be congratulated
So I guess that's what I'll do

I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah, I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby,
I could cry.

Listen to the sound of my head pounding
Wish that it was make-believe
Praying for the skies to open up and
Wash away your memory

I can walk around with a pretty face on
Even when I'm black and blue
What's the point in telling everybody
I'm not over you.

I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah, I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby,
I could cry.

Cry about the love we used to have
Cry that I won't ever get you back

Filling up my empty days with red wine
Wonder what you think of me?

I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah, I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I'm so happy for you
So, so happy for you
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby,
I could cry.

the song speaks for me. a moment came where i thought i might have a shot. but why would i? I'm nothing special... and i sure don't have a personality. I wish that i could be confident.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

A Beautiful Girl

"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" or so its been said. But then what do I behold? I don't particularly think I'm pretty, though I've been told that I am. I don't see myself as being beautiful at all most days. On occasion I will think that I am. But in the end I don't see it.

Apparently other people do. But that's all they see. My personality doesn't strike them as appealing and they don't take the time to get to know me for who I am. All they see is a pretty face and it kinda stinks. I want someone to want to get to know me cause I'm funny, which I am believe it or not, or because I'm someone they could see being good friends with.

I don't want to be just a pretty face, sometimes I think would it be easier to be ugly? I mean then if people got to know me then it wouldn't be because I was pretty outside, but inside where it counts. But maybe because I'm so called Beautiful on the outside, I'm ugly on the inside.

I odn't know how to let my inner beauty shine... and sometimes I just need help, or a new friend... Someone that I can trust. I'm a shy person. Maybe you could be the one to help me open up again. Maybe you can help me shine...

But I'll probably never know.
I'm just a beautiful girl after all.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

A Dream Within A Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

Maybe I'm emo for liking Poe. But I do so deal.
It is a very good question though... IS all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream? sometimes i think it would be easier to find out that our lives were just a dream. But if it was i know i wouldn't want mine to be my escape from reality. What if one day you woke up and found out that this dream or life was like the falling dream. you always wake up before you hit the bottom. So you are in this dream until you are near death then you wake up one day and are 14 again and you can relive your life. But better you wouldn't make the same mistakes you would know what to avoid how to act and how to behave. But in reality we learn from our mistakes, yes? And without mistakes growth can not occur. Perhaps. SO life can't be a dream within a dream. But we can make up a dream with in a dream. I know i have one...

He may be eerie. but i like him. Thanks Poe for a fabulous poem. :D

Saturday, April 16, 2011

i seem to post when i'm upset usually. I swear i really am a happier person mostly....

here... I'll post about some of my favorite things.

Sport-
Soccer. I absolutely love soccer. I was introduced to the game in 6th grade. I didn't know what I was doing i just went for it. You know during the good old days of recess. I'm decent at soccer you know, so i've been told. I've taught myself basically all i know. But I need some help. Heck I'm thinking about trying out for the soccer team for the heck of it who knows.

Pass Time-
Reading. Generally doesn't matter what book. If its not a textbook that is. I'll read it, and generally I'll Like it. I've read some strange books in my life time. I recently read one about a girl that committed suicide and left tapes for people who were a part of her decision. kinda creepy i know... but i still liked it... My favorite books have been The Leven Thumps series by Obert Skye, and The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini... I also enjoyed reading the Series of unfortunate Events by Lemmony Snickett. I got three every year for a while till i owned them all it was great, christmas my birthday, who knew when i'd get them.

Extra Curricular-
Marching Band. Who doesn't like marching on a feild with a uniform on? Not only do you get to sweat a lot, you get to love a lot too. Because of marching band I met my best friend. Because of marching band I felt important. Okay because of marching band I met most of my friends. Sure marching band is a lot of work and it can get tedious after a while but your sense of accomplishment after each so is worth it.

sleeping- no need for an explination.

Colors- Red and Yellow. Spicy and attractive. Plus they are so happy colors.

Favorites.
every one has them.
what are yours?

Falling from the top of the world into the pit of despair.

Welcome to life.

It happens to the best of us.

One moment can be one of pure bliss

and then you fall.

Some might call it bipolar.

I call it Kristen Santa Maria.

I Don't know whats wrong with me

but once I'm happy I have this nasty habit of plunging into the deep end

And I (literally) can not swim. Thus I drown.

I push people away from me.

Not intentionally... generally...

it just happens. And I feel like the world is just so hostile.

can i truly let myself be happy.

because I know my unhappiness is caused by myself

Sometimes I just want to jump off a cliff...

But i won't i'm scared of heights...

but if i did would someone catch me?

Who Do I Have?

If you have him... who do i have?


I need to feel again. Right now I'm just a black hole only taking in things.
I don't have an opinion. I didn't before but now its worse.
I use to say Fake it till you Feel it but now I know its Fake it till you Fake it better. For me anyway.

What is happiness if its forced half the time.
Or hope when you know the hoping will get you no where.
What is trust if you're scared to give it out
What is love if no one returns it. If no one wants it from you.

I'm going down.
and I don't know if I'll get back up.
if I'd even want to.

if anyone'd care.

Don't turn your back on me I already feel given up on.
The Promise
-Anberlin

If you need a friend,
don't look to a stranger,
You know in the end,
I'll always be there.

And when you're in doubt,
and when you're in danger,
Take a look all around,
and I'll be there.

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise)
But if you'll wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise, I promise you I will.

When your day is through,
and so is your temper,
You know what to do,
I'm gonna always be there.

Sometimes if I shout,
it's not what's intended.
These words just come out,
with no gripe to bear.

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise)
But if you'll wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise, I promise you...

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise)
And if I had to walk the world, I'd make you fall for me,
I promise, I promise you I will.

I gotta tell ya, I need to tell ya, I gotta tell ya, I gotta tell yaaaa ...

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise)
But if you'll wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise, I promise you...

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise)
And if I had to walk the world, I'd make you fall for me,
I promise, I promise you I will ...
I will...
I will...
I will

I know you're busy, and I'm a little needy girl who just strives for attention.
But you did promise. YOU PROMISED YOU"D ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME.
I have proof too.

granted i may be annoying and i may be wishing for a fallen dream, but i just need someone.
Someone i trust and you're the last person i gave my entire trust too. The only one i tell everything to.
The only one i need. I just need a friend. but i can't find any as special as you, as blessed as you
and talented as you. You knew what i needed to hear when i needed to hear it you found me
you saved me. now save me again. I know it won't be the same but i still need a hero and you still fit the bill.

Please don't give up on me, don't leave me alone... I need you.... I love you... and with that i know its alone but i can't help it trust me i try to not i try so so so hard. I try for you.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

My Best Friend

Mater: "I knew I made the right decision"

Lightning McQueen: "In what?"

Mater: "My Best Friend."
-Disney and Pixar's animated film 'Cars'

Happy Birthday Best Friend! (Yesterday)

My best friend is...
Amazing, Fun, Humorous, Attractive, Ridiculous, Ninja, Spiffy, Silly,
Rambunctious, Spiritual, Supportive, Charismatic, Spunky, Athletic, Honest, Trustworthy,
Caring, Polite, Gentlemanly, Tall, Jazzy, Sweet, Adventurous, Monkey-man, and I could go on.

So there's a slight story to the 'Cars' thing up there^... When I first met my friend, we had this
joke, There's a scene where Mater is asked what he was told about talking to the prisoners and he'd replied, "Ta not to" and so I'd say to my friend, "Now what did i tell you about smoking" and he'd reply, "Ta not to".

Of course He's more of the Lightning McQueen Character and I'm more of the Mater personality. Such is how it goes eh?

Anyway my best friend is named Cameron.
Bless his soul for putting up with me. :)
Yesterday was his birthday and he's officially an adult. OLD MAN! haha
Anyway in the morning my other friend and I broke into his house and decorated his bedroom with balloons and streamers. Okay so I didn't really break in I coordinated with his Mother WHO ROCKS!! She's amazing, Just like her son! That was really fun.

Later in the day I called him up to wish him a happy birthday and he invited me to hang out. I was uber giddy! So we hung out and played some smash brothers with his best friend Shane. another girl was there too. Then we went to a park and played around with a soccer ball, foot ball frisby, and basketball, but mostly the foot ball and soccer ball.

Four words: MONKEY IN THE MIDDLE

Lets just say Cameron and Shane had the ball a lot more than me and my other friend. BUT... I had so much fun! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE SOCCER! (and cameron....) any who...

I hope he had a wonderful birthday. I know I enjoyed it and hanging out with him. Even though I ended up on the ground a good amount of the time. He was nice at first about not making me fall but then he got more agressive but it was still fun. :D

"Once a year we celebrate with stupid hats and plastic plates the fact that you were able to make another trip around the sun"
-Arrogant Worms


SO HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAMERON! I'm proud to call you my best friend. :D <3

Please Forgive Me

"So If you're feelin' lonely.. don't You're the only one I'd ever want I only wanna make it good So if I love ya a little more than I should
Please forgive me I know not what I do Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you Don't deny me This pain I'm going through
Please forgive me If I need ya like I do Please believe me Every word I say is true Please forgive me I can't stop loving you"
-Brian Adams

I'm sorry for my heart. I'm sorry for my love. I'm sorry it just won't go away.
Welcome to my story. Welcome to my life. Welcome to the peice of me I should just throw out.
I'm sorry for my longing. I'm sorry for my faults. I'm sorry I'm the girl of another day.
Invited to my future. Invited to know my past. Invited to my secrets that secretly I can't count.


Love is a silly thing. Always has been and always will be. We just gotta deal and press on.
I can wait for love. I WILL wait for love.

I am in love. A solitary love. Yet it still brings me joy, and a feeling of serenity.
No matter what else is on my mind, there is a part always sanctioned for my love. Always.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I wanna hold your hand- The Beatles

Oh yeah, I´ll tell you something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

Oh, please, say to me
You'll let me be your man
and please, say to me

You'll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you i feel happy, inside
It's such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

Yeah you, got that something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you I feel happy, inside
It's such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

Yeah you, got that something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your ha-a-a-a-a-a-and

A little more than a year ago I heard this song...
and one week later I held the hand of a very wonderful
person. OH HOW MY HEART DID SOAR! I couldn't believe it...
Someone loved me someone cared... I was so happy!
I can not express how high my spirits were!
It was a sensation like never before and
Nothing I've really expirenced since. It felt
so incredibly natural. Like it was meant to be.
I didn't feel forced I didn't feel like
I had to do anything. I just had to be myself
and I was loved. I got to hold his hand.

I got to hold his hand. {and now i'm blushing....}

Sunday, March 20, 2011

spark

I think I'm a spark
alone in the dark,
waiting for the dynamite to ignite
fearing the dark night
the darkness that surrounds me
consumes what I can be
hiding my potential life
with darkness, toils, and strife
The spark I am is fading to an oblivion below
light me once again so the dynamite can blow.

Spontaneity

Well... I FEEL SO SPONTANEOUS RIGHT NOW.

Not because I've recently done anything spontaneous or cool but because I was talking to my friend about...... FENCING!

Yes I mean the white asylm, bee farmer, pointy metal rod kind of fencing.

I was talking to my friend about tomorrow and what the day will bring. Who I'll see and what I'll get to do. So I said that I got to go to Hapkido tomorrow, exciting? Like HECK TO THE YES! I LOVE LOVE LOVE hapkido. Anyway for some reason this struck up the conversation of Fencing. She said that she always though martial arts was way cool and that she always wanted to try fencing too.

SO... I said we should hunt somewhere down that teaches fencing and take some classes and experiment. I think its the most random thing I've said I should do in a while. {Well except doorbell ditching involving produce and cookies. A strange mix for strange girls... Oh 'Tom'...}

But yes I can be spontaneous... Believe it or Not. Spontaneity... That's right

BRING IT!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Love Me - Collin Raye

I read a note my Grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me
He said, "Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I love your Grandma so.

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said :

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of the church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I've never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her, his eyes fill up with tears

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

I love love love love love this song. It is so cute and I cry when I listen to it sometimes... Trust me it is so cute and I can honestly say I wish I was loved this much by someone.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Spur...

My posts are kinda boring... anyway i decided to write a poem off the top of my head right now... so bear with me and enjoy the poem I'm gonna write right now.

Seeing your face a few feet away
makes me spin around today
seeing your smile as you walk down the hall
makes one appear on mine as I fall
deeper in love than the day I had you
Without you I see I make myself blue.
I lose my train of thought a lot
and beat myself up thinking of the time that we fought.
I know I'm not the best friend I should always be
I'm trying really hard but you shy away from me
I make myself unhappy and that makes you feel some stress
I'm sorry to hurt your feelings I know I'm not the best
I wish I could express what I truly am
have a personality and show you that I can
live a happy life with you just as a friend
You promised you'd be there for me when I was at the bends
and I know you're always there for me though I don't deserve you to,
I know you don't like to listen when I talk to you.
And still I call you my best friend forever
though sometimes i think thats forever is never
I push you away from the person you knew
because she's hiding and not presented to you.
Somewhere deep inside me I hope to see the day
where you'll call me lovely and hold me in your arms to say
"I never stopped loving you though I hid it away
I want you to be mine and forever with me stay."

tada! ... I dunno I just kinda typed and whala... there is a poem... just what's on my mind I guess But This poem holds some truth in the words.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Thoughts, or lack thereof

"Patience is a Virtue" that sometimes I don't have enough of. I try I really do. It takes eveything in me to be patient. To not yell at people when I want to. To control my anger and resentment and feelings. I don't hate anyone. CORRECTION. I CAN'T hate anyone. I won't. I'm the kind of girl that won't let her feelings stop anyone else. I apologize if people misinterpret my mood. If I seem angry or distant its more because I cherish a friendship and don't want to blow it by my random outbursts of UGHiness. Which in turn i guess the aura i give off could be doing that anyway... I just don't think. Most of the time. There is the little occasion where my brain does function. Over all though... it doesn't so forgive my stupidity.

Honestly...
I get mad. I get jealous. I have fear. I feel love. I feel pain. I think dumb stuff. I'm human.

On the Topic of Growing UP

I'm short. But my grandpa always says, "You're tall enough if your feet touch the ground". So I guess I'm not short... Vertically Challenged? Maybe...

Growing up sucks. "Everyone know's it sucks to grow up but everyone does its so weird to be back here, let me tell you what the years go on and we're still fighting it."

"I don't wanna grow up I'm a toys-r-us kid there's so many toys at toys-r-us that I can play with." Growing up happens.

But...
"People don't stop playing because they grow old. People grow old because they stop playing"

Its necessary to grow, but not to grow up. Responsibility is inevitable it will come. Be prepared but you don't have to lose your inner kid. I know I couldn't part with mine.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Lolovivi

My pen name means there is always love. Sometimes it is really hard to remember that there is. And that no matter how life becomes or where we're headed someone out there will always love you. It may not be the person whose attention you are dying for but someone always loves you. In my case its my Heavenly Father because I believe there is one. I don't understand always that he's there for me and that I can turn to him. Or that he does things for a reason. Someone will always love me. Someone will always love you....

I fail to remember that a lot because I feel lost and alone in the crazy world of today. I just want to be noticed to know someone that isn't above me loves me. But if my Father upstairs loves me it should be enough, but sometimes its not.

I'm so thankful to Him though.

So Lolovivi, there is always love remember it
{Yes I was talking to myself in third person...I do that sometimes... don't worry about it.}

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

i sometimes feel like i'm fighting for a lost cause. the pain it gives me is excruciating. I'm so pathetic maybe i'll just disappear. sounds good to me... I just want to be happy and fun. But i'm answer E. None of the above. I'm not loved by ... and i want to cry. but there are no tears left in me.

Diary Of A Broken Heart

Brittany Montgumery

We were just friends at the start,
Always having fun, never apart
Then one day, something sparked
The next thing I knew, you had my heart.

The days flew by,
I lost track of time
Everytime I was with you,
I was on cloud nine.

Then one day, you asked me to be your girlfriend
I exclaimed, yes! and prayed we'd last until the very end.
No one could look into my eyes and say I wasn't happy,
Happy that I was with you, and you were with me.

With me in your arms, you told me you loved me,
Then gently kissed my forehead and gave me a squeeze.
I was convinced you were the one for me,
Apart from you, I would never be.

Just when I thought all was well,
Was when you began to put me through hell.
You said, we should just be friends
That's when I knew it was the end.

I looked into your eyes, trying to find out why,
It was all I could do, not to begin to cry.
Where I once saw love, I saw nothing,
I couldn't believe you no longer felt something.

I lay in bed, counting my tears,
Each representing what I'd hoped would be years.
Years of happiness, for us to be together,
A long-lived life, forever and ever.

But in my heart, I know this will never be,
For in yours, no longer is there a place for me.
I gave you my all; I gave you my heart,
Little did I know that you'd tear it apart.

Everyday I place a smile on my face,
As for tears, there is not a trace.
You ripped me apart, but yet it's true,
Forever and always, I'll still love you.