Blech

I have a happy list. In other words a list of things to make me happy. I need to work on that. My attitude makes people stay away from me. I dont feel like I belong anywhere, I feel like I simply exist and that I have no where to turn to. Well sure I know I do, but that's not what I mean. Its complicated. Maybe I could be happier but i probably won't let myself. I need help. I really do.