Facing Disappointment

I look up and see a face in a doorway and they walk in. The look on the face tells me what words will follow. My hearing goes awry but I know what's being said, "if the auditions are close I always put the one who was already there in but they weren't close." Tears streaming down my face I barely heard the rest. I now have to face the worst disappointment of my life.

I didn't remake the Symphonic Band.

No one can say that I didn't try. No one knows how hard I practiced aside from me. My heart has been torn open. And the pain will be there for a long time. No matter how much one might want something and believe that something will happen, it not always will. People have to deal with disappointments. I feel like I'm wearing a scarlet letter. Not in the real sense but because as I walk through the halls of school I feel people looking at me and judging me, because I WASN'T good enough. It hurts more than anyone can imagine.

Now I'm faced with a decision.

Go back to concert band... Or once again play the BASS CLARINET...

To do either is humiliation, to do neither is defeat.

but i must face disappointment. and its hard.