I wanna hold your hand- The Beatles

Oh yeah, I´ll tell you something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

Oh, please, say to me
You'll let me be your man
and please, say to me

You'll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you i feel happy, inside
It's such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

Yeah you, got that something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you I feel happy, inside
It's such a feeling
That my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

Yeah you, got that something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your ha-a-a-a-a-a-and

A little more than a year ago I heard this song...
and one week later I held the hand of a very wonderful
person. OH HOW MY HEART DID SOAR! I couldn't believe it...
Someone loved me someone cared... I was so happy!
I can not express how high my spirits were!
It was a sensation like never before and
Nothing I've really expirenced since. It felt
so incredibly natural. Like it was meant to be.
 I didn't feel forced I didn't feel like
I had to do anything. I just had to be myself
and I was loved. I got to hold his hand.

I got to hold his hand. {and now i'm blushing....}

spark

I think I'm a spark
alone in the dark,
waiting for the dynamite to ignite
fearing the dark night
the darkness that surrounds me
consumes what I can be
hiding my potential life
with darkness, toils, and strife
The spark I am is fading to an oblivion below
light me once again so the dynamite can blow.

Spontaneity

Well... I FEEL SO SPONTANEOUS RIGHT NOW.

Not because I've recently done anything spontaneous or cool but because I was talking to my friend about...... FENCING!

Yes I mean the white asylm, bee farmer, pointy metal rod kind of fencing.

I was talking to my friend about tomorrow and what the day will bring. Who I'll see and what I'll get to do. So I said that I got to go to Hapkido tomorrow, exciting? Like HECK TO THE YES! I LOVE LOVE LOVE hapkido. Anyway for some reason this struck up the conversation of Fencing. She said that she always though martial arts was way cool and that she always wanted to try fencing too.

SO... I said we should hunt somewhere down that teaches fencing and take some classes and experiment. I think its the most random thing I've said I should do in a while. {Well except doorbell ditching involving produce and cookies. A strange mix for strange girls... Oh 'Tom'...}

But yes I can be spontaneous... Believe it or Not. Spontaneity... That's right

BRING IT!

Love Me - Collin Raye

I read a note my Grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me
He said, "Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I love your Grandma so.

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said :

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of the church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I've never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her, his eyes fill up with tears

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

I love love love love love this song. It is so cute and I cry when I listen to it sometimes... Trust me it is so cute and I can honestly say I wish I was loved this much by someone.

Spur...

My posts are kinda boring... anyway i decided to write a poem off the top of my head right now... so bear with me and enjoy the poem I'm gonna write right now.

Seeing your face a few feet away
makes me spin around today
seeing your smile as you walk down the hall
makes one appear on mine as I fall
deeper in love than the day I had you
Without you I see I make myself blue.
I lose my train of thought a lot
and beat myself up thinking of the time that we fought.
I know I'm not the best friend I should always be
I'm trying really hard but you shy away from me
I make myself unhappy and that makes you feel some stress
I'm sorry to hurt your feelings I know I'm not the best
I wish I could express what I truly am
have a personality and show you that I can
live a happy life with you just as a friend
You promised you'd be there for me when I was at the bends
and I know you're always there for me though I don't deserve you to,
I know you don't like to listen when I talk to you.
And still I call you my best friend forever
though sometimes i think thats forever is never
I push you away from the person you knew
because she's hiding and not presented to you.
Somewhere deep inside me I hope to see the day
where you'll call me lovely and hold me in your arms to say
"I never stopped loving you though I hid it away
I want you to be mine and forever with me stay."

tada! ... I dunno I just kinda typed and whala... there is a poem... just what's on my mind I guess But This poem holds some truth in the words.

Thoughts, or lack thereof

"Patience is a Virtue" that sometimes I don't have enough of. I try I really do. It takes eveything in me to be patient. To not yell at people when I want to. To control my anger and resentment and feelings. I don't hate anyone. CORRECTION. I CAN'T hate anyone. I won't. I'm the kind of girl that won't let her feelings stop anyone else. I apologize if people misinterpret my mood. If I seem angry or distant its more because I cherish a friendship and don't want to blow it by my random outbursts of UGHiness. Which in turn i guess the aura i give off could be doing that anyway... I just don't think. Most of the time. There is the little occasion where my brain does function. Over all though... it doesn't so forgive my stupidity.

Honestly...
I get mad. I get jealous. I have fear. I feel love. I feel pain. I think dumb stuff. I'm human.

On the Topic of Growing UP

I'm short. But my grandpa always says, "You're tall enough if your feet touch the ground". So I guess I'm not short... Vertically Challenged? Maybe...

Growing up sucks. "Everyone know's it sucks to grow up but everyone does its so weird to be back here, let me tell you what the years go on and we're still fighting it."

"I don't wanna grow up I'm a toys-r-us kid there's so many toys at toys-r-us that I can play with." Growing up happens.

But...
"People don't stop playing because they grow old. People grow old because they stop playing"

Its necessary to grow, but not to grow up. Responsibility is inevitable it will come. Be prepared but you don't have to lose your inner kid. I know I couldn't part with mine.